Mum Reviews: Kanye West – Hey Mama

Mum Reviews

It’s finally over. Mum’s journey is at an end, and although I haven’t achieved my aim of turning her into a rap lover, I did make her listen to some terrible words. (Thanks X). In the end, we’re finishing on a song that captures our relationship pretty perfectly. Although this was a close second. Take us home ‘Ye.

What a beautiful song with lovely words! Nobody takes drugs, swears, urinates, gets sick or ends up pimping! Perhaps rap isn’t so bad after all! A wonderful tribute to a hard working mother (to which I can relate!) and I admire the singer’s resolve to reverse the circumstances to improve his mother’s life.

For real. Don’t be expecting something like this for when you die.

I liked the beat, the words and the tone which was not aggressive unlike previous songs I have commented on. Very pleasant to listen to and extremely touching. The words in this song are positive, really special and heartfelt. I would listen to this again and would recommend it to someone perhaps as an introduction to rap instead of a grand finale. It is nice to end this exercise with an emotional ending. A poignant and well-meaning song with the ultimate accolade to a loving mother!


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MumRank: 10/10

A 10! AN ACTUAL 10! I DON’T BELIEVE IT! Shame it had to happen to Kanye though. If he finds out, he’ll be fucking insufferable.


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Mum Reviews: Grandmaster Flash and The Furious Five – The Message

Mum Reviews

PAC SAVED US. So now I’m gonna take it back to 1982, to hopefully capture some nostalgia and build some momentum going into mum’s final review.

I quite like this song. It’s got a nice beat to it and I recognised it from my younger years. Is it an old one?


Can some explain to me why all the rap singers portray their songs which are consistent with no hope? What is a fag-hag? Is this a new name for women who smoke? I don’t understand why if he has a knackered sacroiliac joint he says he can’t ‘take a train to the job’! When I had problems with mine, I couldn’t get out of bed!

Completely overlooking the fact that ‘sacroiliac’ was used in a song. SMDH.

This character seems in quite a bad way and lives in an unsavoury location by the sound of it. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to urinate on the stairs unless they are drunk, lazy or both! Anyway I do sympathise with his surroundings and it is unfortunate if you are born into those I guess.

I have pissed on many, many stairs, and I agree with your assessment.

The characters in these rap songs always seem extreme and I am blessed not to have met too many like them. I wonder how many people in reality can connect with them. I like the beat of this song and perhaps also the story although I wish some of these songs have a happy ending.

You’re truly #blessed, ma.

MumRank: 6/10.

A 10 is coming. I can feel it.

grandmaster flash and the furious five looking fly as shit

Mum Reviews: 2Pac – I Ain’t Mad At Cha

Mum Reviews

Everything is awful. First, Mum gave Tribe a 4, which is the most wrong anyone has ever been about anything, ever. And then, I gave her some DMX out of spite, which has only deepened the divide. My faith in the power of rap music is waning. It’s all on Pac to save everything.

I quite like this one because it tells a story I can understand. I’m thinking it’s about a guy who has a friend who then converted to Islam. Obviously he is sad because he no longer has someone to play or mess around with. Then he gets into scrapes and upsets his mother (understandable!) and I’m guessing it’s somebody else’s fault that this guy ends up in prison? It usually is!

Those are the quaintest descriptions of religious conversion and gang violence I’ve ever heard.

I’m not sure it’s necessary to be using vulgar language to convey such a story. I did like the chorus bit which was sung by the lady in the background who had a lovely voice. She wasn’t swearing and it was very pleasant.

Danny Boy is absolutely, 100%, not a lady.

I quite liked this song, and I liked the chorus and the story. The tone did not appear to be as angry as the others I have heard.

MumRank: 6.5/10

Wherever you are Pac, and I know you’re alive somewhere, thank you for rescuing this project.

tupac smiling and winking

Mum Reviews: DMX – Where The Hood At

Mum Reviews

Because Mum pissed all over Tribe, her new punishment assignment is some DMX. May God have mercy on all our souls.

I found this to be an extremely lengthy and thoroughly unpleasant tune. I don’t really think it warrants being called a song, as this would be an affront to people who try and create real music.

This is gonna go down exactly as expected.

I fail to understand why people would want to shout obscenities in this way? Is this what people called self-expression? There must be a lot of angry people out there who speak a different language to most of us, that’s all I can say!

But he speaks like that all the time, even on rollercoasters!

Amazing though that one can make a tune out of a few repetitive notes really – my generation call it money for old rope! I was thinking maybe I could try my hand at stringing a few sentences and repeating them – what do you think?

LEAVE DMX ALONE. He’s had enough people shitting on his vocabulary already.

My thoughts are that I cannot seriously award any marks for this dirge, and the only impact it has had on me is that I am worried about the younger generations exposure to a language I don’t understand, and messages being conveyed in such an angry and vulgar format disguised in music called ‘RAP’!

perfect looped rap battle gif

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MumRank: -0.

MINUS. ZERO. Is that the same as a regular zero? Fuck do I know.

DMX looking angry as shit

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Mum Reviews: A Tribe Called Quest – Steve Biko

Mum Reviews

Last time out, Kendrick managed a 6, which is simultaneously a travesty and a huge success. To attempt to generate some momentum here, I gave her some Tribe to listen to. No swearing, chill vibes, and she’s even got the words this time. CAUTIOUS OPTIMISM ABOUNDS!

“It was interesting trying the follow the song with the words this time. I’m not convinced it has made much difference! Why do they have to speak so fast? What is the attraction when one word drawls into another?”

Cautious optimism rescinded.

“I appreciate that some of these songs if not all wish to give out a message but if people don’t understand what it is because they can’t understand the words, what’s the point? Unlike me, who has had the words in front of me, not everyone has that choice. Are these tunes ever played on the radio? I’ve never heard them on Radio 2?”


“Well he sounded like another very angry young man…”

Men, mum. A whole tribe of them. AND THIS ISN’T ANGRY DAMMIT.

“…there seems to be a lot of angry men doing rap. Is rap associated with venting anger and frustrations with random words which rhyme?”

Did Chief Keef teach you nothing?

MumRank: 4/10

This is a shambles. I want a new mum.

a tribe called quest in black and white

Mum Reviews: Kendrick Lamar – The Blacker The Berry

Mum Reviews

So far, mum has given Snoop a 1, and Keef a 0. Not great. But if anyone can rescue the sinking ship, Kendrick can. I mean, the worst thing he’s ever done is ‘i’, and even that was alright. LET’S GO K-DOT.

“This song was full of anger, hatred and resentment, and I guess the singer had met with issues over his colour and identity. I was able to understand some of the words in this song and the tone somehow seemed different. This song reminded me of the reggae music I used to listen to as a youngster when working in a predominately black area of London. I guess this song represents that nothing has changed, despite the passing of time.”


“It’s a pity that I couldn’t decipher all the words, as unlike some of the songs I’ve heard, this one sounded as if it had depth. Being of ethnic minority, I find the subject of racial conflict quite interesting. Although we try not to judge people, for me it would never be about how people look, as opposed to other characteristics which I may or may not find desirable.”


“I see this as a positive song with a strong message perhaps to look at how we judge black people and be more considerate towards their feelings. Maybe it teaches us about the hurt we can cause, and enables us to look at the heart.”

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MumRank: 6/10

6?! A 6??!?!111? F.O.H. However, 6 is a bigger number than both 0, and 1! PROGRESS!



Mum Reviews: Chief Keef – I Don’t Like

Mum Reviews

Mum didn’t like her her first taste of the rap game. You know who else doesn’t like things? Chief Keef! He wrote a song about it and everything! And mum listened to it! Her comments are in bold below.

“I found this song very cathartic and trance like.”

I mean… sure?

“It may have something to do with the fact that all the men participating appeared stoned.”

Wow. Scalding. In fairness, it might have been lean?

“I found watching the video very sad to think that this may be how young people get their kicks, in what appears to be a very distorted and lonely environment.”

Mum, you know nothing of distorted and lonely environments until you’ve listened to Drake.

“Songs like this are trying to normalise swearing, drugs, being foul mouthed and vulgar. I wonder if people listening to this kind of music ever envisage having children? Would they wish their offspring to aspire to this culture, or would they want to protect them? Somehow to me, the band singing this song seemed to cheapen life.”

CHEAPEN. LIFE. Not since Katy Perry’s tweet has Keef’s artistic output been shown such disdain.

“I don’t confess to having understood all the words. Suffice to say they sounded vicious, angry and repetitive to say the least. I am not sure I understood what message this song was trying to give out, so I didn’t really get anything from it.”


MumRank: 0/10

Things aren’t getting better. Please don’t kill my mum, Keef.

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