Mum Reviews: Chief Keef – I Don’t Like

Mum Reviews

Mum didn’t like her her first taste of the rap game. You know who else doesn’t like things? Chief Keef! He wrote a song about it and everything! And mum listened to it! Her comments are in bold below.

“I found this song very cathartic and trance like.”

I mean… sure?

“It may have something to do with the fact that all the men participating appeared stoned.”

Wow. Scalding. In fairness, it might have been lean?

“I found watching the video very sad to think that this may be how young people get their kicks, in what appears to be a very distorted and lonely environment.”

Mum, you know nothing of distorted and lonely environments until you’ve listened to Drake.

“Songs like this are trying to normalise swearing, drugs, being foul mouthed and vulgar. I wonder if people listening to this kind of music ever envisage having children? Would they wish their offspring to aspire to this culture, or would they want to protect them? Somehow to me, the band singing this song seemed to cheapen life.”

CHEAPEN. LIFE. Not since Katy Perry’s tweet has Keef’s artistic output been shown such disdain.

“I don’t confess to having understood all the words. Suffice to say they sounded vicious, angry and repetitive to say the least. I am not sure I understood what message this song was trying to give out, so I didn’t really get anything from it.”


MumRank: 0/10

Things aren’t getting better. Please don’t kill my mum, Keef.

chief_keef_0.full(Image via)


Mum Reviews: Snoop Dogg – Gin and Juice

Mum Reviews

To start her on her journey to rap nirvana, mum was given Gin and Juice from Snoop Dogg’s 1992 classic, Doggystyle. Her review is below. Sorry Snoop, I tried.


Mum, what did you think?

“I did not like the song, if indeed that’s what one calls it! There didn’t seem to be a tune to it, and I have always struggled with thick American accents with poor enunciation. If you can’t make out the words, then to my mind it makes the whole purpose of the song futile.”

You’re doing this next.


What about the lyrics?

“I have never warmed to music which feels it has to make an impact by inserting vulgar words. I mean, look at Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder, and Eric Clapton. They saw no need for it…”

This is the same Eric Clapton who screamed on stage, “THROW THE WOGS OUT, KEEP BRITAIN WHITE!”

“I am unsure of the message this song gives out… but from what I did pick up, it was to do with pimps, whores, drugs and booze?  If so why would people be interested in such things to influence their life? I find it concerning that this kind of music gets so much exposure.

This is going to be a lot less fun than I originally thought.


Anything else?

“I guess the only plus side was the cathartic chorus. I can imagine how people would get hooked on humming that.”

Yeah, that chorus is certainly… cathartic.


MumRank: 1/10

Things can only get better.


snoop dogg looking confused

My Mum Is My Mum



The woman in the picture above is my darling mother. She is a lover of many things, good books, good food, The Good Lord Jesus Christ, to name but a few.

However, there are things she doesn’t like. Inclement weather. Lacklustre organisation. And rap music. She is not a lover of rap music. Which is a problem because I, her best and favourite son, am of the opinion that rap music is a thing to be celebrated. And I’ve decided it’s time to bridge the gap in our cultural tastes. Why now? Because:

a) I can’t fucking stand listening Christian Alt-Rock in the car any more.
b) I can’t afford my own car.

So, every few days, I’m going to send her a song to review, which will then be posted on here with some additional commentary. She might not find Chief Keef everything to her taste, but I’m hoping that over time, she’ll turn from this to this. We’re going to make my mother a rap fan, as sure as Tupac is alive and living in Disneyland.